Groucho Marx on Savings Bonds and Taxes!
Wolf (Groucho):
Oh, hop in here. There's a few things I'd like to discuss with you. What I am about to say is intended for your ears alone.
Martha:
Oh, Wolf!
Wolf:
Martha, dear, there are many bonds that will hold us together through eternity.
Martha:
Really, Wolf? What are they?
Wolf:
Your Government Bonds, your Savings Bonds, your Liberty Bonds---and maybe in a year or two after we're married---
Martha:
Yes?
Wolf:
Who knows? There may be a little baby bond.
Martha:
Oh, it all seems so wonderful! Tell me, Wolfie, dear, will we have a beautiful home?
Wolf:
Of course. You're not planning on moving, are you?
Martha:
No. But I'm afraid after we're married a while, a beautiful young girl will come along and---you'll forget all about me.
Wolf:
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.

The 1933 Marx Brothers' movie Duck Soup is generally considered their best. The government of the bankrupt Balkan state of Freedonia gets a new president Rufus T. Firefly (Groucho) and goes to war with neighbouring state Sylvania

Cabinet Meeting

Minister of Labor:
The Department of Labor wishes to report that the workers of Freedonia are demanding shorter hours.
Firefly:
Very well, we'll give them shorter hours. We'll start by cutting their lunch hour to twenty minutes. And now, gentlemen, we've got to start looking for a new Treasurer.
Minister of Labor:
But you appointed one last week!
Firefly:
That's the one I'm looking for.
Secretary of War:
Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Enough of this. How about taking up the tax?
Firefly:
How about taking up the carpet?
Secretary of War:
I still insist we must take up the tax.
Firefly:
He's right. You've got to take up the tacks before you can take up the carpet.
Secretary of War (now exasperated):
I give all my time and energy to my duties and what do I get?
Firefly:
You get awfully tiresome after a while.
Secretary of War:
Sir, you try my patience!
Firefly:
I don't mind if I do. You must come over and try mine sometime.
Secretary of War:
That's the last straw. I resign! I wash my hands of the whole business.
Firefly:
That's a good idea. You can wash your neck, too.
 
In a subsequent scene, the new Secretary of War Chicolini( Marx brother Chico) is discussing the funding of the war:
 
Minister of Finance:
Something must be done! War would mean a prohibitive increase in our taxes.

Chicolini:
Hey, I got an uncle lives in Taxes.
Minister of Finance:
No, I'm talking about taxes - money, dollars.
Chicolini:
Dollas! There's-a where my uncle lives. Dollas, Taxes!
Minister of Finance:
Aww!

Ardent Marxists can find more of Groucho and friends at:

The Marx Brothers' Links

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